Tuesday, February 9, 2010
everything that happened, everything that i thought i've gotten over, everything that i thought i had put all the way at the back of the memories... it all came rushing back right at me. i don't know why. i was just returning to school from HQ after freestyle drill comp. briefing. at HQ, when i first arrived at the auditorium...i thought i was late..but i wasn't...and there was another thing that i noticed..i was the only who went there alone to represent my team...other schs had at least 2 ppl.... and while walking back... there was a group of ppl walking in front of me..and they seemed to have so much fun. and..well....i just suddenly felt very lonely... then what happened between me and her during the first few month of sec 1 just came flying back to me. i never wanted to remember what happened. but i just came back. it got me thinking about everything. about the time i spent getting over her..the time i wasted beofre talking in class again.... about all the friends i made after i lost her.. all the good times i had.......about how it can all end that easily... in a second. at the time you'll never expect. i dont know why! i dont. i dont. i just started thinking "what will i do if all the grest friends i made after her were to all disappear one by one? what will happen to my life if there weren't any friends in my life? how am i going to live without friends? can i survive living so lonely? with noone to talk to?" i dont know why. but these were the questions and the images of these great friends that keep poping out in my head til i reached back school.
and when i thought i wasn't going to cry...my eyes started to get watery when i stood outside the room where the others are practicing the freestyle.. i could here them laughin inside. i don't want to lose them...and i just stood there for a while....till my wet eyes becomes drier a bit. and entered...they were there...all of them...and those who weren't their faces just came to mind. i had to bit my lips as i brief them on the different criterias for the competition. i tried to cheer up by looking at him...but i just got more afraid in losing them all. and when we finally got dismissed...i couldn't talk. cause i know...if i were to say something...tears will just fall. my mum called me right after i stepped out of school. she asked me to go back earlier. such coincidence...i couldn't have hold myself back for so long too...
went off for home. i didn't want anyone to see tears drop down my face...so i held back til i reached home. the next thing i knew. i sat on my bed.. and tears came falling down........
feiyun said that friendships do break. some ppl are meant to stay by you. some aren't. some are just passer-by. true friends will stay by you no matter what. so you don't need to think too much about them leaving. cause they won't.
i'll never ever want to lose them, my memories, the times we had. never ever...... (due to my lack of photos...i only have these...paisei)
Monday, February 8, 2010
HI PPL!
today....spent most of the day sitting at the back. cause switch places with Elvis. sitting behind is great! fun fun fun! but i also got listen to teacher teaching de hor! XD not like i totally not listening like that. haha! I found out today is that...when Bryan said his being nice...he is very violent! poor ming kian! but tomorrow can't sit behind le. got mrs yeo lesson... sian diao...A MATH was difficult to me. E MATH was better! my a math ar....hai....nothing to say le.. had english compre test too! not that difficult la. but is not sure if i got write the right answer ma LOL!
Had freestyle drill training today. SM said we are progressing fast..but i'm not sure about that. thinking of the steps are slow... so...i think we're quite slow la. trained for a few hours, performed once for sir to see...went to land room so kang sheng can brief us on the next formation. cause next day need someone go HQ for briefing so play black jack to see who lose who go lor...LOL! see christina like very sian diao... quite random la..the game. but fun also. then continued to play for fun.. losers owe pushups. in the end went to parade square and did 1100 circle pumping.. HAHA! crapped a bit after that....actually is quite alot la. with SM. hehehe XD. found out that we have STM. SM has the most serious one. lol! anyway...after went bbt shop and slacked a while before hom-ing. XD XD XD.
everything was normal at home.... :D
saw his smile many many time today. its countless! but each of them managed to get a smile out of me. maybe he didn't notice...or is it that i didn't want anyone to notice....i always had my hand covering my mouth when i smile...no idea why. saw him running around in class today..he seemed to be having fun.. still....a smile just came. i couldn't control it! AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHH! woah! i like it when he smiles. :)
how could i forget his smile?
i could never.
i would never want too! :)
Sunday, February 7, 2010
HEYYO!
today was boring....had tuition in the morning....my bro's friends came to do project...watched tv, ate lunch...did sth but forgotten what. went for nap! YEA! the first since p6! LOL! seiously! haha! slept from 2.30 til 6.30.. woke up and took over the com from my bro. ate dinner and used com again and am watching the ending of priates of the caribbean. at world's end. love it! XD
in the end...nothing much happened today....
i'm getting to see him tomorrow. talked to him yesterday on msn. today had a text from him. when i first heard my phone vibrating...i thought it was just another text from someone. but when i saw it was from him...well..i just felt happy. it was from him. even though the text was sth that was totally normal. but thinking about how i felt when i first saw that it was an sms from him....i don't mind. as long as its from him. yesterday's talk in msn started cause of random me asking totally random questions....haha! but while talking to him...i just can't wipe the smile from my face! XD XD!
XD XD xD! !
i will never erase
the time i spent near/with you...
Saturday, February 6, 2010
HI PEOPLE! XD
its saturday and obviously i didn't go to sch. haha. went for tennis in the morning and then to library for a small meeting. cause gettin advise and ideas from senior jeffery..so went lor. anyways.....had quite a few interesting ideas from senior. some are quite nice too. then.....went for lunch at KFC. met staff TianRan there. then master sergeant came. then we went off. went to walk around and home-d. I WANT GO BRAS BERSAH & DAISO!!! i want buy comics and beanie! HAHAAHAHHA!
came home and used the com. til 7? then go cook instant noodles for brothers before any of us die of starvation... LOL! now listening to Westlife's When you're looking like that. SO NICE THE SONG! recently, i really like westlife song. no clue why. its easy to sing along anyways XD
i'm starting to get pissed again. what's wrong with speaking JAP or writing replies in JAP?! if you don't understand then don't ask ppl shut up la! (not fy) its like WTH?! then fine la. I. DON'T. TALK. end of story. but since must put camp first....i'll just talk.
even though met staff...but didn't see him. sad...knew he wasing coming anyway, when staff said who he was meeting. but all the same....i still HAD that little hope he'll like walk through the door...but nope.. nothing happened. and we left. told anila that....then she asked:"but if he showed up..what are you gonna do?" and that makes sense. what can i do? just talk to him? maybe. but it'll be like hello, or hi, or what you guys doing here...? or...whatever la. i made me thinking... even is he showed up....will he notice me there?
i want to tell you so much..
but...i can't now..
It's already 12.16am and i'm blogging for yesterday,5 feb 2010. LOL!
okays, so fall in the morning..normal stuff except now, Sergeant Major talked to us about the "committee" thing. and about cliques. have to agree with him still....already know this platoon de problems not that less still divide into groups. are we dumb or dumb?! dot.....
had 2 periods of SSRP cause Mrs Yeo never come..don't know is good or bad...missed PHYSICS! but had free time. used the 2 periods to talk about the class sleeve-less hoodie. but then kinda failed. the whole class like totally divided into groups can? its like looking at our platoon. want to do sth to change this whole thing but don't know what. 3 groups of ppl PCC-ing. one group playing with jun ping's phone...but i don't know what kind of phone is it..only know is touch screen de..i quite noob at this so please understand. XD one group studying and just sitting there talking. one last group is the committee and those who are interested in class stuff. had a hard time with the class hoodie and i was kinda irritated and also think that things are kinda getting so wrong..like its not going the way it is! nvm. next is PE! IT. WAS. FUN! played with siya,yiqing,yuning,marcus yeo and jefferson badminton. i was noob. but there were the very fun times. :D
recess then MT. it was SSRP for MT! but the emergency exercise was the same time too...must sit in the heated parade square...under the scorching sun...in my thick no.4....think how hot it is! i bet those in no.4 are burning even before the fire reached us la! went back to class and then bio-ed.
and its training! i was part excited & happy, part not very want to go...partly cause can see.....the other part..idk....continuing the talk on cliques...done..and freestyle-ed til 6++..? was with....the whole time. but didn't even talk lor...except for that one time anila helped...XD very qian bian but....yea... PT taken by senior was tiring but shiok! then ended training but had to stay back for freestyle. not only did i have to stay longer...at least i got to see....more. HAHA! stupid me...then home-ed after that...
talked to him today again! a simply hello and hi..but still, its an improvement. XD why am i talking about him when i have .... in my mind? cause he's just so cute? but ..... is cute too! and i KNOW i like ..... so don't anyhow think.
today got to see him many times! in the morning when fall in, during SSRP, during emergency exercise. and training. HAHA! talked to him too..but not sth that i really want to talk about...hai.... but all the same....i got the see him and stay with him til we have to part....even though he might not notice me there.....
just looking at him....
a smile will just form on my face.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Konichiwa!
today went to sch early to sudy for physics test. for chem, miss lee nvr come...no clue why. so slacked at elvis seat. had sth to talk to mingkian and thomas but bryan came..and so did yu ning and der yunn. i started asking for numbers and others too...LOL! xD crapped and waited for chinese to come..sian..
chinese had test. then recess. math and physics test, and i think i totally gonna flunk it! 8 marks in front of me just flew! I HATE GRAPH!
assembly nexxt for tmr's emergency exercise...hai..had english compo after sch and meeting. after meeting the rest did homework while i went out to ppl watch, think of somethings and someone, and listen to music. then home-d. haha..
talked to him yesterday on facebook! first time! today talked to him for the first time! YAY! i kept my promise. but i want to talk to him more!
having training tmr. at least i know i'll get to see you...
always thinking of you...
not a day that i don't since i liked you..
even though i know you'll not do the same for me..
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Konbanwa~!
nothing happened much today..went school early to help anila with her graphs. lessons as usual but i had someone on my mind the whole time. Mr chio goes through the lesson like lightening, by the time i know, the 2 period class is OVER! and i haven't got a thing he's saying! managed to get the class to vote on what they want to represent our class...and the result was sleeveless hoodie! i gotta feeling it'll fail. but if it does, maybe a glove will do? LOL! had bio remedial after school and there was only 5 ppl in class! me, feiyun,ks,thomas, and marcus yeo. NICE RIGHT?! its mr toh! he's teaching just ROCKS la! ended remedial early cause of some probs. and went for meeting til 5. then home-d.
YAY~! lucky i went online. LUCKY senior kaiser was too! if not, i really don't know how i'll do my math! senior's way of solving the equation is much simpler and easier than Mr Chio! GREAT! now i know what to do for test le. Arigatou Gozaimasu, sempai! Love ya! lol! haha! next, stupid me left my physics text under table when i have a test tmr....watashi wa baka desu.
finishing math le. but i'm really tired le. so i'll be going to sleep..will chiong physics tmr ba. HAHA! XD
although i missed the date,
but still....HAPPY BIRTHDAY! XD
hope you'll always be smiling..
cause you look the best when you smile.
haven't see you for a day...
missing you now...
